Archives for 

xxx humor

Sunday Funnies – March 25

Grab your java, tea, or Bloody Mary – it’s time for another installment of Sunday Funnies.

 

humorous image of clash between old and new language usage

The collision of modern usage and traditional usage…

 

Been concerned about the economy?

 

illustration of nude bathing beauty on a beach towel smoking a joint

 

I missed putting this one up for Thanksgiving, so here is a cozy little pilgrim/colonial stock or pillory bedroom piece,

 

a craftsman style wooden bed with the footboard fashioned in the style of punishment stock or pillory

…new meaning to being sent to bed for being naughty…

 

man's arm tattooed all over with the Louis Vuitton logo

…even more gauche than carrying the LV bag…if that’s possible…

 

woman sucking the cock of man in Spiderman costume

Spidey needs stress relief too

 

poster of american indian with text about hypocriscy of some political positions on immigration

 

Here is TV commercial we’ll never see in the U.S. of A.,

 

 

image of huge cock ripping through too tight jeans

I hate it when she buys my jeans so tight

 

woman smiling after a cumshot to her mouth with cum dripping off her chin

cum again soon!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sunday Funnies – February 19

Ok, let’s see what might be funny this morning……

 

note to parents re son caught masturbating in class

…but he was meeker after the ruler smacked his cock…

 

lioness has a new man

 

Speaking of cats,

 

 

poster humorously explaining social media

 

boys touching boobs of bikini clad porn star

field trip for boys

 

And here’s a quick and dirty look at marriage per the Bible,

 

a poster displaying the various forms of marriage shown in the Bible

what they don’t know about “family values”….

 

and last – may the force be with you,

girl masturbating with a lighted dildo

alternate use of a light saber – may the force be with her

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sunday Funnies January 22

Another Sunday, another installment of Funnies,

 

adult humor road warning sign

 

 

 

 

Harrison Ford was in the right place at the right time

Right Place……..Right Time

 

and next, some Barbie adventures –

 

chipmunk looking at suggestively dressed Barbie doll

Hey, girl – wanna come up to my place and see my nuts?

 

and then, some time later,

 

Barbie with a strapon and Ken cowering at her feet

Ken, I met a kinky chipmunk and I learned some things about myself….

Image credit for the strap-on pic above is to Mariel Clayton, a photographer of miniatures, with lots of Barbie and Ken oh-so-wrong images, and who has a delightfully twisted sense of humor.

Authored by

Enhanced by Zemanta

Holiday Funnies

A little Christmas music to view by? The best Christmas song ever? “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas”,

It is hard to pick a “best” from the many Bob Rivers twisted Christmas songs, but that one is right up there.

Here’s another one, “Aquaclaus” – done by Rivers in the style of Jethro Tull performing “Aqualung”,

Next, an important tip for holiday parties,

cartoon of good and bad placement of mistletoe

This is “A Dubstep Christmas” by Skrillex,

 

Hanging decorations,

man hanging from roof gutter while trying to string christmas lights

…honey?….honey?….a little help?…

Here are two pretty unlikely looking fellows playing the four-armed, one guitar cover of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, not particularly a holiday item but….. eh, so what,

 

angel christmas decorations having oral sex

angels need blowjobs too…maybe ESPECIALLY angels…

Here is Tchaikovsky’s “Sugar Plum Fairy” played on a glass harp,

 

And last for this time, Mrs. Claus showing us why the reindeer fly for Santa….

digital art image of reindeer resting from pulling sleigh and mounting a woman in red lingerie

reindeer recreation – is that Blitzen or Donner?

 

Authored by

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sunday Funnies December 11

Here’s another installment in my Sunday Funnies series, so get the coffee, forget the paper and enjoy.

Those darn Labs…..always want to play fetch,

ball gagged woman with goofy labrador retriever wanting to play with red ball

not now Fido

 

but you gotta put your toys away when the in-laws come to visit, or…….

labrador retriever fetching carrying large flesh colored dildo

come on...please play fetch?

 

and sometimes her goddamn little dog hangs around no matter what,

gif pug dog sitting acting bored while man and woman fuck

deleted scene from Men In Black?...

 

I neglected to get this one up in time for Thanksgiving, so here it is late: Addams Family Thanksgiving – “…your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs…”

 

here’s another item in the “Who’s The Next Ben Franklin?” category,

gif of fleshlight grafted onto whirling fan and rotating on man's cock

what happens to the cumshot?

 

These next quotes are “allegedly” from a book entitled Disorder in the American Courts, although I can’t tell which one – and there are several on Amazon, natch – but these are supposedly gathered by the court reporters in the courtrooms… anyway, here are a few nuggets:

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter
has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Authored by

Enhanced by Zemanta