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Battle of the Deepthroat Blowjob Queens…and Madonna?

Today we have for your carnal pleasure several amateur, or maybe semi-pro, queens of the deepthroat blowjob. They are  amateur or only semi-pro in the sense that even the more commercial ones show and sell their own sex videos on the internet, or run their own websites, and the sex partner is the husband or steady boyfriend, as opposed to them making commercial porn films for studios (but the lines are getting blurry, eh?),

First up is Heather Brooke, also known as Heather Harmon, showing her skills (1:19),and  as always for all these tube clips be ready to kill the popups and unders,

Sadly for her fans and deepthroat aficionados everywhere, Heather vanished from the internet in 2005, despite having a domain name that today is probably worth an easy mil – www.ideepthroat.com; at least vanished in the sense that there have been no updates to her website since that time. But her site still lives on, and reportedly was still viewed over ten thousand times per month in 2010. Perhaps a new form of immortality??

Here’s a bit longer one of Heather with some bonus throatfucking, or reverse deepthroat as some call it, and titty fucking (6:31),

 

Next up, we’ll have a look at Camille Crimson, Jessica Smith, and finally that great Madonna teaser clip.

Camille Crimson, entertained us in this post about a MFF threesome blowjob – she has a much more polished website (winner of several “best”s) and web-savvy entrepreneurial bent,

camille crimson deep throating a cock and licking the balls

Today she shows us her technique of tonguing the balls while deepthroating the cock…she gives us this intro to the clip (3:45):

My boyfriend always wondered what was my “special trick” when I was licking his balls and deep throating him simultaneously while I was giving him a blow-job until he saw it on this film…

 

Check out her website for more, The Art of Blowjob

Next is a 14 minute clip of Deepthroat Queen contestant Jessica Smith, who competes for the title of Queen with no website, just clips scattered across the tube sites. Really a pretty remarkable focus on her part throughout, watch…but click on the tiny play icon on the lower left of the player – if you click on the big one in the middle, you get pushed directly to the tube site…

Here are a couple nice animated gifs of throatfucking,

animated gif of brunette being throatfucked or reverse deepthroat

man throatfucking a cute brunette with her head tilted back

Now: Madonna – but wait, you say, Madonna giving us hardcore?? Say ’tis so!!! Again sadly, this is an almost…

Here is Madonna, demonstrating, apparently at a little intimate dinner party, but now on YouTube no less, her deepthroat no gag technique, unfortunately only with a wine bottle, but still deliciously suggestive…that’s how you get invited back!

 

 

Which one is the real Queen?

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6 Top Sensuous Video Clips

Here are  6 of the top sensuous video clips that I’ve come across lately, mainly featuring solo women bopping, writhing, posing, and giving us the “come hither”:

1. Jessica Vaughn – Life is a Highway by Danny Griffin (1:14),

 

 

2. Denim on Sand by Anthony Rose (1:30),

 

 

3. Eugenia Diordiychuk, Erotica by Eugenia Diordiychuk (4:53),

 

 

4. Stephanie Seymour by Greg Kadel Studios (0:30),

 

 

5. The Penthouse by Frank De Mulder and Michelle Van Damme (1:33),

 

 

6. Haunting, Seattle by grayagent (1:18),

 

 

Authored by

 

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The Amateur Porn Video Viewed ̶5̶0̶ ̶5̶5̶ 76 Million Times

Ain’t the internet grand? Think about what’s behind that title – over fifty million (UPDATE – June 4, 2013: 51,852,166 53,000,043 54,553,065 55,575,821, 57,348,715, 64,145,492!)(UPDATE – April 13, 2014: 68,955,407 views!)(update August 27, 2015: 76,634,089 views) views of an amateur, homemade porn video clip – the number of viewers, the bandwidth, the populist popularity, the number of countries represented…

All of the free porn tube sites heavily rely on a constant stream of amateur uploads – all us citizens filming ourselves having sex and sharing with world – to keep their content fresh. The voracious appetite of the collective carnality lovers for viewing porn apparently can’t be met by commercial production. Still, that 70 million+ views floors me.

These are the 5 most viewed amateur porn clips from the YouPorn site, in reverse order, (all of the pics link out in a new window to YouPorn for viewing)(beware of autoplays with sound, and popunders/overs):

5.

19:51
88%
40,316,855 views
4.

02:57
90%
45,359,516 views
3.

fucking my wife
21:50
88% rating
39,817,624 views
2.

Paris Hilton - Movie
12:31
65%
58,516,399 views
1.

Great Body, Great Sex, Great Blowjob
09:21
92%
76,634,089 views

 

Whether Paris Hilton really qualifies as an “amateur” could be debated, but still…and the other interesting thing for carnalogists is looking at the “rating” vs total views. Apparently people go look at the Paris Hilton clip because of the name – but the sex just ain’t that great. 65% rated, versus 88% and up for the others in the top 5.

YouPorn, BTW, has been dethroned, after reigning supreme for several years, as the YouTube of porn, the #1 porn tube site. See the Related Article below: PornHub has taken over and is clocking more than 25 million unique visitors each month.

So, here are the top 6 most viewed of all time amateur clips from PornHub, in order, and you see the same thing with the celebrity/not-so-hot, but amateurs/hothothot: Kardashian gets the highest total views but the jury thinks the sex is only barely so-so, (all of pics link out in a new window to PornHub for viewing):

1.

Kim Kardashian Sex Tape with Ray J
68%
5:00;
134,558,613 views
2.

84%
7:46;
48,815,855 views
3.

86%
8:27;
37,756,237 views
4.

Mouth Cum Compilation – Part 388%

14:49; 45,263,674 views

 

 5.

89%

9:52; 35,926,923 views

6.

Kendra Wilkinson Exposed Sex Tape

70%

5:04; 28,637,334 views

 

However, even the most popular porn pales in comparison to the most popular clip on YouTube itself – the Biebster’s music video of “Baby”, ft. Ludacris, has clocked well over half a BILLION views (684,597,595), and it’s still going strong.

Best Erotic Music Videos of 2011

Following hot on the heels of the post: Best X-Rated Music Video of All Time, I present for you a different group – the best erotic music videos of 2011, an-end-of-the-year best thing, and limited to just 2011.

These have no explicit sex, so I characterize them as erotic or sensuous. My qualifiers were that the video/music had to first appear in 2011 and that the main performer in the video also had to be the main musical performer – so no erotic video clips set to an unrelated music track, or rappers or rockers singing with strippers around them etc etc. But we’ll do some of those another time.

First, and I think the easy choice for best of the year, some music to tie her up by, Claire Tchaikowski, “Those Thousand Seas”

Claire Tchaikowski’s debut album Those Thousand Seas is available on iTunes, Amazon and cdbaby.
Betony Vernon‘s book The Boudoir Bible – Sexual Common Sense and the Joy of Ceremony will be published soon.

 

Second, some French dance/pop with Charlie M, “Jeux Ma Muse”,

 

 

Third, pop come-back, “Criminal” by Britney Spears, and featuring her new fiance, Jason Trawick,  with some slithery hot action in the shower, and guns…

 

 

Fourth, “‘Til The End Of Time ft. V” by Timothy Bloom, which I featured in the post 5 Best Sensuous Couples Video Clips,

 

 

That featured image at the top of the post, by the way, is Christina Aguilera having a big ‘ol time in her music video for the track “Dirrty” released in 2002. The music video was directed by David LaChapelle. It depicts what was described as “a post-apocalyptic orgy”.The video opens with Aguilera gearing up and riding a motorcycle into a nightclub. Wearing a bikini and fuck-me chaps, she is lowered from a cage into a boxing ring and dances. If only the music video for “Moves Like Jagger” this year were half as hot, it’d be in this post too. HERE is a link to the “Dirrty” video if you would like to reminisce.

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Best X-rated Music Video of All Time

After extensive investigation, I present several candidates for the best X-rated music video, XXX-rated music video, adult music video, explicit music video….whatever your phrase may be, of all time.

To qualify, a music video had to be more than just NSFW with bare boobs, or even full frontal nudity – as delightful as those may be – and actually be a release by a music artist or band, not just a mashup of hardcore video with an added music track.

And what does the featured image above (from a performance of the opera Salome) have to do with all this? See the footnote* at the end of the post.

Here are the candidates in no particular order, and representing several different music genres:

#1 – Industro-rock, Rammstein: Pussy

 

#2 – British rap, Skepta: All Over The House

#3 – Alt rock, Placebo, Protège-Moi

 

#4 – acid-rave sci-fi punk-funk, Klaxons, Twin Flames

(is that one weird enough for ya?)

 

#5 – hip-hop/rock/metal, Hollywood Undead, Undead (rare completely uncensored version)

 

#6 – alt rock, 30 Seconds to Mars (feat. the now very famous Jared Leto), Hurricane

 

If you know a good one I missed, comment away.

*Now about that pic at the top and Salome – the image is of soprano Francesca Patanè, daughter of famous Italian conductor Giuseppe Patanè performing the lead role of Salome in a production that opened the 2007 season of Teatro dell’Opera di Roma. I nominate a hardcore version of Salome – sex, violence, eroticism, drama, singing, and music…what’s not to love? – for the ultimate best X-rated music video: so who’s up for creating that one?

Here’s another couple of  images of Patanè from that production,

soprano Francesca Patanè nude with pasties being draped in a robe in salome

credit: Riccardo Musacchio in Corriere della Sera

salome carried on bearers' shoulders

credit: Riccardo Musacchio in Corriere della Sera

In reviewing her later performance as Puccini’s Turandot, The Observer wrote:

Francesca Patanè’s Turandot was spectacular.  There is a purity in her voice which is spine-tingling and this is accompanied by the ability to produce enormous power.

Let’s get that in an explicit music video – someone start a petition!