About Ram

A lover, creator, and curator of carnality.
Website: http://ramthesunlover.com/
Ram has written 398 articles so far, you can find them below.

Holiday Funnies

A little Christmas music to view by? The best Christmas song ever? “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas”,

It is hard to pick a “best” from the many Bob Rivers twisted Christmas songs, but that one is right up there.

Here’s another one, “Aquaclaus” – done by Rivers in the style of Jethro Tull performing “Aqualung”,

Next, an important tip for holiday parties,

cartoon of good and bad placement of mistletoe

This is “A Dubstep Christmas” by Skrillex,


Hanging decorations,

man hanging from roof gutter while trying to string christmas lights

…honey?….honey?….a little help?…

Here are two pretty unlikely looking fellows playing the four-armed, one guitar cover of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, not particularly a holiday item but….. eh, so what,


angel christmas decorations having oral sex

angels need blowjobs too…maybe ESPECIALLY angels…

Here is Tchaikovsky’s “Sugar Plum Fairy” played on a glass harp,


And last for this time, Mrs. Claus showing us why the reindeer fly for Santa….

digital art image of reindeer resting from pulling sleigh and mounting a woman in red lingerie

reindeer recreation – is that Blitzen or Donner?


Authored by

Enhanced by Zemanta

The Cock Whisperer – irresistible oral sex

A Cock Whisperer can soothe an unruly cock and make it behave.

You’ve heard, no doubt, of horse whisperers and even dog whisperers. There’s even a chicken whisperer fer gawd’s sake. They are all supposed to have a special talent for communicating with the denizens of the animal, and fowl, world. But being a cock whisperer isn’t quite so arcane and mysterious.

This cock lover in the video clip below has a special talent for edging and ineluctably inducing the orgasm with some whispering, licking and sucking, 10:45,


Here is a gif of the same Whisperer at play,

gif of Klixen licking a spurting ejaculating cock

what is she whispering?

That is an Austrian amateur who goes by the screen/porn name of Klixen – she sells video clips HERE, if you want more (no affiliate relationship, just FYI).

austrian amateur web porn star Klixen stroking and licking a cock with lace gloves on

Here’s another gif of her and her friend Cindy Hope doing some threesome cock whispering,

gif of Klixen and Cindy Hope in threesome licking a spurting cumshot cock

Update – here are several new ones just located of Klixen, and Klixen plus Cindy Hope, performing yet more slow edging torture,

Klixen licking and edging a drooling cum cock

gif of Klixen and Cindy Hope licking a cock for an edging orgasm

gif of Klixen sucking the cock head and Cindy Hope licking and flciking the shaft with her tongue

gif of Klixen and Cindy Hope sucking cock with cum dripping out of Klixens mouth

Here’s one of her graduate students, teasing and denying,

gif of female licking and rubbing her lips on the tip of a cock

Here’s another one her students in the art, cooing a sweet nothing to the Impatient Johnson,

girl with beautiful eyes looking at camera putting cock tip to her lips for cocksucking

Now to give credit where credit is due, Wifey, of Wifeysworld fame, was the first on the web that I can see to claim to be “The Cock Whisperer.”

Wifey and her hubby run an amateur website and make their living shooting pics and videos of Wifey, who has a huge beautiful rack, natural 34F, and who loves to suck hubby’s cock, get facials, swallow, and other delightful oral related activities, to say nothing of regular ol’ fucking and doing herself with a dildo after blowing hubby.
Here’s her bit on the Cock Whisperer:

This week I got to play my most natural profession- a Cock Whisperer! I’ve always had a knack for taking even the most stubborn penises and making them mind me. Since I was a teen I’ve been able to communicate with a cock almost like we shared the same mind. I’ve loved the look, taste and feel of cocks since I was young so what better job to go into? This week I helped a poor guy who’s penis wouldn’t cooperate for him. It would get hard and leak without any reason at all. I came to the rescue though, massaging it and deep throating it and fucking it until it finally succumbed by blasting my face, hair and tits with its thick sperm! I think it’s gonna mind its owner now, don’t you?


Wifey of wifeysworld taking a big facial cumshot

credit: wifeysworld.com


gif of Wifey giving a hand job with cumshot


gif of Wifey taking a cumshot facial on face, mouth and hair from husband jerking off standing over her


Here is a Wifey video clip, 5: 14, giving a birthday blowjob,


And here’s one of Wifey playacting to be the neighbor MILF coming over to blow Wifey’s husband, 5:09,

Best X-rated Music Video of All Time

After extensive investigation, I present several candidates for the best X-rated music video, XXX-rated music video, adult music video, explicit music video….whatever your phrase may be, of all time.

To qualify, a music video had to be more than just NSFW with bare boobs, or even full frontal nudity – as delightful as those may be – and actually be a release by a music artist or band, not just a mashup of hardcore video with an added music track.

And what does the featured image above (from a performance of the opera Salome) have to do with all this? See the footnote* at the end of the post.

Here are the candidates in no particular order, and representing several different music genres:

#1 – Industro-rock, Rammstein: Pussy


#2 – British rap, Skepta: All Over The House

#3 – Alt rock, Placebo, Protège-Moi


#4 – acid-rave sci-fi punk-funk, Klaxons, Twin Flames

(is that one weird enough for ya?)


#5 – hip-hop/rock/metal, Hollywood Undead, Undead (rare completely uncensored version)


#6 – alt rock, 30 Seconds to Mars (feat. the now very famous Jared Leto), Hurricane


If you know a good one I missed, comment away.

*Now about that pic at the top and Salome – the image is of soprano Francesca Patanè, daughter of famous Italian conductor Giuseppe Patanè performing the lead role of Salome in a production that opened the 2007 season of Teatro dell’Opera di Roma. I nominate a hardcore version of Salome – sex, violence, eroticism, drama, singing, and music…what’s not to love? – for the ultimate best X-rated music video: so who’s up for creating that one?

Here’s another couple of  images of Patanè from that production,

soprano Francesca Patanè nude with pasties being draped in a robe in salome

credit: Riccardo Musacchio in Corriere della Sera

salome carried on bearers' shoulders

credit: Riccardo Musacchio in Corriere della Sera

In reviewing her later performance as Puccini’s Turandot, The Observer wrote:

Francesca Patanè’s Turandot was spectacular.  There is a purity in her voice which is spine-tingling and this is accompanied by the ability to produce enormous power.

Let’s get that in an explicit music video – someone start a petition!

Hotties of Burlesque – Dita Von Teese

There may be more skillful burlesque performers, but there are probably none better known than Dita Von Teese.

This is the second in our “Hotties of…” series; the first installment was Hotties of Rock – Grace Potter. The concept behind the series is to focus on female performers in various entertainment settings who are joyfully expressing their sexuality as part of their performing.

Dita,  born Heather Renée Sweet on September 28, 1972, has become a modern day fashion icon. She is credited for bringing back the glamor and allure of Old Hollywood stars, and she is self-created and distinctive, and operates a commercial empire of various products and endorsements, in addition to her appearing and performing. She is also credited with popularizing the “New Burlesque” and leading the rejuvenation of that style of performing.

Dita Von Teese performing her martini glass burlesque routine in a huge martini glass

credit: 2010 Broadcasting Inc.

This following video clip is a 4 minute quasi-documentary including exclusive interviews, rare footages and live performances from the show she did in Paris at the prestigious Casino de Paris.


You might think it was taking coals to Newcastle for her to export the New Burlesque to France to help show French women how to take their clothes off American-style; but she went right on ahead and was a big hit in Paris. Here is a clip with some performance, some interview and some commentary on her in Paris to make several appearances at the famous Crazy Horse revue, (3:01), Dita Von Teese Brings Burlesque Revival to Paris,


But she also has a more varied background,  more edgy than burlesque and fashion. She has been featured in Penthouse, and shot some really hot bondage and fetish images with A-list fetish photographer Ken Marcus (link to a Ken Marcus website gallery of Dita HERE).

dita von teese nude and restrained in a head and wrist stock fetish image

image credit: Ken Marcus

As this next screenshot intimates, she did much more explicit work earlier in her career,

dita von teese in corset fucking another woman with a double headed dildo

This is a  clip of Dita getting fucked with a dildo high heel shoe that would make Lady Gaga swoon,


Next is what appears to be a mashup clip from a couple of Andrew Blake films – Dita in a three-way lesbian setup with Anita Blonde and Regina Hall, (4:59),


Speaking of Andrew Blake, HERE is a link to a short teaser video on his website of Dita in 40’s style lingerie getting gagged and tied up by two other hotties.

Last, check out the Galleries tab/page on the top menu for a gallery with more images of Dita that gets updated whenever I find good new ones.


Enhanced by Zemanta

Sunday Funnies December 11

Here’s another installment in my Sunday Funnies series, so get the coffee, forget the paper and enjoy.

Those darn Labs…..always want to play fetch,

ball gagged woman with goofy labrador retriever wanting to play with red ball

not now Fido


but you gotta put your toys away when the in-laws come to visit, or…….

labrador retriever fetching carrying large flesh colored dildo

come on...please play fetch?


and sometimes her goddamn little dog hangs around no matter what,

gif pug dog sitting acting bored while man and woman fuck

deleted scene from Men In Black?...


I neglected to get this one up in time for Thanksgiving, so here it is late: Addams Family Thanksgiving – “…your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs…”


here’s another item in the “Who’s The Next Ben Franklin?” category,

gif of fleshlight grafted onto whirling fan and rotating on man's cock

what happens to the cumshot?


These next quotes are “allegedly” from a book entitled Disorder in the American Courts, although I can’t tell which one – and there are several on Amazon, natch – but these are supposedly gathered by the court reporters in the courtrooms… anyway, here are a few nuggets:

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter
has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Authored by

Enhanced by Zemanta